Quote:Jonas Ashley

Jonas Ashley is an Imperial Army General assigned to Dallas, Texas.

Quotes
"Why is this guy wet?"

- Jonas questions Kyp about a wet suspect in the back of Kyp's truck.

"You grow and sell produce? I'll go to the supermarket."

- Jonas after finding out Kyp grows produce on his property.

"He seems tense lately."

- Jonas offers an unqualified opinion about Kyp.

"I hate having to baby-sit for Kyp's kid. Last time, he threw his food at me. I think Kyp likes to leave me alone with his kid for some reason."

- Jonas complaims about Kyp's son Seth.

"Tevin Felth is coming here? Kyp, I'm going to, don't tell Felth where I am."

- Jonas makes plans to avoid Tevin's upcoming visit despite Jonas outranking Tevin.

Imitations
"Er, uh. Don't tell anyone about last night."

- Jonas imitates Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons.

"Mr. Durron, I represent the estate of (inserts name) and I have a court order demanding an immediate halt to this unauthorized imitation. Boys."

- Jonas imitates The Blue-Haired Lawyer from The Simpsons. When doing this he is often accompanied by Stormtroopers.

"My daddy's the Supreme Commander of the Imperial Army, I can get away with slapping General Ashley around."

- Jonas mocks Tevin Felth much to Kyp and Lauren's disgust.

Dialogue

 * Jonas tells Lauren about Kyp's past.
 * Jonas: You do know he once destroyed an entire star system and blew up a nebula in a fit of rage?
 * Lauren: He told me about that. I would have plead him not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect. For those with an IQ of 50 or below, the Sith Spirit made me do it. He also told me that you made numerous passes at General Felth's daughter-in-law and that's why you were sent here.
 * Jonas: Well if Kelly Felth would stop prancing around like a swimsuit model, that wouldn't have happened.
 * Lauren: I was told you make passes at anything female.
 * Jonas: I do have standards, you know.